How to plan a wedding when you don’t know how to wedding

Did I use ‘wedding’ as a verb? Yes. Am I sorry? No. But seriously. How do you plan a wedding when you don’t know how to ‘wedding’? This has been my dilemma. Sure, when we got engaged, Matthew said that he would plan the whole to-do, but… I fell into the trap of…  simply put, who I am as a person. Yeah, more or less that. So I took control – as I do.

So, as someone who had never dreamed up or thought about a wedding, how do you throw yourself into it? Well, if you’re me, you put forth the idea of city hall with a make your own taco party at your apartment out into the universe as many times as possible in hopes that it gets picked up… and when people realize that no, you’re not joking and the idea officially gets shut down you try and come up with something else.

Wedding planning hasn’t been easy especially for someone like me who has been a bit anti wedding her whole life. But at the same time, I must not have been super anti wedding as a wedding is in our near future.

When it comes to planning and having a ‘vision’ it doesn’t help that I don’t have much experience with weddings. I’m one of the first of my friends to get married so I don’t have much to go on. Most recently we attended Anuj and Yana’s wedding in India but that was a Hindu wedding…. I attended a friend’s Christian wedding in the GTA 7 years ago…

Where do you go when you don’t know what to do? Sure magazines are everywhere but they don’t really support those of us who shudder at the thought of spending $$$ for one party. I turned where many other millennials turn – social media. I scrolled Pinterest, searched hashtags on Instagram and found groups on Facebook. Thank goodness for Facebook groups!

If you’re planning a wedding in and around the GTA these I would 100% suggest finding a buy and sell/trade Facebook group.

If you’re familiar with the Bunz community, (side note: did I ever tell you about that time I traded toilet paper, a passionfruit and a cut from my aloe plant for a dress? #truestory) you’ll know that there are a lot of sub groups. I found my way into the Bunz wedding group and it has literally* saved my life. The group acts as a trading group in the traditional Bunz format, members post images of items they’d like to trade but the catch is no trades can involve money. But I think the best part of this group is that members also share a lot of great information, tips and questions. New questions are posted and everyone shares their suggestions. You’ll see questions about what to do with momzilla’s, managing a 300+ person wedding, best places for restaurant weddings, should I or shouldn’t I wear glasses, where to find the best prices for photo booths – the list is really endless. It’s a goldmine of information and filled with very supportive people. I also love the group because people are planning all different types of weddings and the overwhelmingness of the whole thing can be eased by finding someone like minded.

We found our venue and photographer thanks to the group. I’ve also picked up some decorative touches by trading toilet paper and laundry detergent. #essentials

This has been such a helpful resource for me to wrap my head around planning and to realize that a lot of other folks don’t know what they’re doing either. I’m not alone! Other than finding groups like this to either observe or engage with, my biggest tip would be to get an account with an online planner like The Knot and just send those emails! Reach out to the different venues, caterers, photographers whomever and ask questions. I was pretty clear with everyone that I had no idea how weddings worked or what questions I should be asking and everyone was amazingly helpful in their responses. I say just take a deep breath, dive in and give’r.

*no not literally #millennialspeak


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